“I would love to do what you do, but…”

At Burlesque shows, on social media and even at social events when just talking about Burlesque, I hear this a lot. The nature of the “but” differs slightly for everyone, but it’s all based in the same thing: appearance. That’s right, even when the “but” takes the form of “I’m not confident enough”, it’s usually followed by something like “because my body isn’t x, y or z”. This sentiment might be attached to a specific body part, or to a body type, or make reference to the number on the scale. For some, it’s about a comparison to others, or even to a former version of their own selves; “I don’t have the same body I used to”, for example.

This absolutely breaks my heart, but I understand where it comes from. As women we are socialised to understand our value in terms of our appearance, and we’re consistently told that we aren’t attractive enough. A consequence of this is that we create rules for ourselves, rules like “I can’t wear that” or “I can’t dance like that”. It’s very easy therefore to fall into thinking that something like Burlesque is not for you. But trust me, Burlesque is for everyone.

I’m sure I can guarantee that at some point, every single member of the BodiBlossom family has had doubts about their body or their dance ability. We are not all the same size, or shape. We all have different faces, legs, boobs and bums. Some of us have dance training, but most of us started burlesque as complete novices. What we have in common though, is that we gave ourselves a chance and refused to let self doubt and fear stop us from trying something new!

I imagine it’s very easy to see a Burlesque show and come away believing that all of the confidence and fierceness you saw was always there. And yet every one of us was once a nervous first-timer who was terrified to step through the door of a class. Once there though, you’ll find a wonderful community of supportive women who will help you see what makes you unique and beautiful. You’re also likely to learn that sexiness isn’t a body type, it’s an attitude, and an attitude you deserve to walk through the world with (no matter what you look like)!

So, just remember: we don’t do Burlesque because our bodies look a certain way, we do it because our bodies deserve to move in joyful ways! Self-love is a journey, and Burlesque has helped us all move forward on our individual paths. After all, Burlesque has deep roots in satire, and is ultimately about women reclaiming their power. Whether you are part of our community already and are having doubts about yourself, or you’re new and are anxious about giving it a go, stop drawing imaginary lines around what you can and can’t or deserve to do! You are fabulous, powerful and sexy, and you’ve got this!

If you feel comfortable sharing, let us know about your own self-love/acceptance journeys, or what it’s been like navigating self-doubt and vulnerability through Burlesque below! Also, don’t forget that there are lots of tips and tutorials for building confidence on our app and socials.

Much love, Elly Davis/Lily Rogue x