Confidence is sexy, but is not always something that we have & can be lost along the
way.
There are ways that we can regain it or find it if we don’t have it in the first place...
The following tips will help you learn how to become more confident in the bedroom...
Masturbabtion - One of the first steps to great sex is knowing what you like & the best way to discover that is through solo play.
Communication - Talking about what you like/don’t like helps you know each other better & leads to a deeper connection. It’s sometimes a difficult subject to approach but can also be a fun way to discover more about each other. If you feel like you aren’t confident enough to have these conversations face to face, you could text each other things that turn you on & incorporate that into the lead up to having sex.
Speak to yourself kindly - Self Love is the key to help grow your confidence. Compliment yourself & your beautiful body. Be grateful for everything that your body does for you, including being able to enjoy sex.
Admire yourself in the mirror - Get naked in front of the mirror & work on complimenting yourself. This can be hard to start with as we are always drawn to our insecurities & parts of ourselves that we feel self conscious about. Work on looking past that & pick one thing about you that you like, which in time will grow to love.
Tease - Work on the build up to sex. We can get in a pattern of the way that we interact with our partner to initiate sex. Mix it up a bit, try something new & get in their head before you get in their bed! A sexy message or picture, maybe a love note in their lunch or a whisper in the morning of what you have planned for them later will really intensify the lead up to sex.
Dress Up - Wearing something that you feel sexy in really helps build confidence during sex. This could be your favourite lingerie or using an outfit for role play so you can take on a persona of someone different can lead to great sex. If you feel conscious about certain areas of your body, you could wear something to cover up like a sexy slip that will be a lot of fun to then take off!
Eye contact - they are the window to the soul & can build those intimacy ;eavels between you. Face your partner & look into their eyes for one minute. It’s really sexy to maintain eye contact & will help build your confidence.
Don’t forget - They fancy you already... Approach sex with an attitude of exploration &
curiosity rather than shame or blame. It’s hard to separate from our insecurities but the
fact that you have got to the stage where you are having sex means that you are
wanted & desired.
Work on different ways to orgasm as we can sometimes get stuck in a sexual rut.
Use music to set the mood. This is a great way to stimulate the mind before you stimulate the body.
Sex before food - Eating can make us feel tired, & sluggish, sometimes even bloated & what better way to work up an appetite or even incorporate food play into having great sex.
Set the scene - making space & time for great sex. This can be with some romantic candles, burning essential oils or setting up a camp downstairs with some throws & pillows to play on.
Sex Toys - these are a great way to add something different to your sex life & make you feel more confident in the bedroom. This doesn’t have to be your go to vibrator, there are so many great toys on the market now for both men & women to enjoy. Maybe set aside time to look together for things that you would like to buy to use during sex... this is a great build up to their arrival & gives you another opportunity to know what each other would like & deepen the connection between you.
Use couples prompt cards/games - This is a great way to get that communication going. There are leading questions, activities, dares & games which take care of it for you so that you don’t have to think about how to interact with each other. It's a great way of getting to know each other more intimately or reignite the spark that may have been lost.
Below are a few examples of some great questions to ask each other to build that
confidence...
❖ Describe how you felt & what you first thought when you first met your partner?
❖ What is your favourite sexual memory of us?
❖ In an ideal world, how many times a week do you want to have sex?
❖ Is there anything happening in our relationship that is impacting our sex life?
❖ Tell you partner some of their quirks & mannerisms which you find
endearing?What is the best gift your partner has given you & what makes it extra
special?
❖ If you had the power to read your partner's mind in this moment , what do you
think they are thinking about?
❖ Stare into your partner's eyes for 60 seconds & share 5 things that you love
about them?
❖ Create the ultimate bucket list, think of 12 fun, unique & adventurous activities to
do together!
❖ What do you find most physically attractive about your partner?
❖ What is your definition of amazing sex?
❖ If you could only have either kisses or cuddles for the rest of your life, which
would you choose?
❖ What are your top 3 turn on’s and off’s?
These sort of activities that you do together is going to strengthen your connection &
give you more insight into how each other works...knowledge is power & the more you
know, the more you can grow.
So remember... Breathe in Confidence, exhale insecurities!
Enjoy!!!
XXX
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